Geek on C

1. There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't
2. If at first you don't succeed; call it version 1.0
3. I'm not anti-social; I'm just not user friendly
4. My software never has bugs. It just develops random features
5. In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?
6. Hand over the calculator, friends don't let friends derive drunk
7. I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code
8. Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...
9. The box said 'Requires Windows 95 or better'. So I installed LINUX
10. A penny saved is 1.39 cents earned, if you consider income tax
11. Unix, DOS and Windows...the good, the bad and the ugly
12. A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila
13. The code that is the hardest to debug is the code that you know cannot possibly be wrong
14. UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity
15. You know it's love when you memorize her IP number to skip DNS overhead
16. JUST SHUT UP AND REBOOT!!
17. Alcohol & calculus don't mix. Never drink & derive
18. Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning
19. The beginning of the programmer's wisdom is understanding the difference between getting program to run and having a runnable program
20. Squash one bug, you'll see ten new bugs popping
21. Everytime i time i touch my code, i give birth to ten new bugs
22. Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted
23. Bad or corrupt header, go get a haircut
24. Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes
25. BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding
26. My new car runs at 56Kbps
27. Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or filename!"
28. CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Kathmandu City (Y/n)?
29. RAM disk is not an installation procedure
30. Shell to DOS...Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS...
31. The truth is out there...anybody got the URL?
32. Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.....
33. E-mail returned to sender -- insufficient voltage
34. Press any key to continue or any other key to quit...
35. Press every key to continue
36. Helpdesk: Sir if you see the blue screen, press any key to continue. Customer : hm.. just a min.. where's that 'any key'..
37. Idiot, Go ahead, make my data!
38. To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so
39. Computers can never replace human stupidity
40. Bugs come in through open Windows
41. Unix is user friendly...its just selective about who its friends are
42. Artificial intelligence usually beats real stupidity
43. Bell Labs Unix -- Reach out and grep someone.
44. Black holes are where God divided by zero
45. Thank god, my baby just compiled
46. Yes! My code compiled, and my wife just produced the output
47. Windows 98 supports real multitasking - it can boot and crash simultaneously
48. Firewall : Do you want to place a motion detector on port 80 ?
49. All computers run at the same speed... with the power off
50. You have successfully logged in, Now press any key to log out
51. I'm sorry, our software is perfect. The problem must be you
52. Yaho! Mail: Your email was sent successfully. The email will delivered in 4 days and 8 hours
53. earth is 98% full ... please delete anyone you can
54. Failure is not an option. It comes bundled with your Microsoft product
55. root:> Sorry, you entered the wrong password, the correct password is 'Y_59qeXk'
56. Please help - firewall burnt down - lost packet - reward $$$
57. If Linux were a beer, it would be shipped in open barrels so that anybody could piss in it before delivery
58. Thank you Mario! But our princess is in another castle
59. Norton: Incoming virus - (D)ownload and save (R)un after download